sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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