Betty ford says i'm here all night
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
