you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize