After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
