Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
