Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
