I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
