I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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