Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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