I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
