i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
