Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
