We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
