We named our party play list daddy issues
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
