bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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