nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
