Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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