I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
