This girl is more easily done than said...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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