I want to walk on stilts...naked
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
