You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
