I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
of course. lets lasso hookers.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
