Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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