No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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