I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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