I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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