If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
