youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
