the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
