I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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