this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
