I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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