Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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