Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
