we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
