Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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