I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
