i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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