i wish my penis had a tongue
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
