I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
