My nipple is on Facebook.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
