I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
