Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you made out with another girl for some wings
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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