I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Life is so much better after having sex.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
