a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
