Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
