i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
