and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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