Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
