I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
a search helicopter?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
