It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
