just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
