i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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