please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
