She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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